A Lot Ado About Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

This has been a huge week for homosexual-related very first individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual publications!

The very first piece concerns united states via xojane, the ladies’s internet site went up by Jane Pratt (my personal character)

(I’m really serious) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Titled ”
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this part falls under the “it simply happened for me” feature which also existed at JANE mag and consists mostly of writer/reader-submitted accounts of subjectively interesting private experiences.

The unknown writer of this part, whom I’ll contact “Ariel,” is actually bisexual, but because she easily supplies strike tasks to her male associates but doesn’t time or often go lower on females, she’s, she describes, commercially, just a ”

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.” (She in addition identifies herself as “mostly directly” and “right” at some other factors within the story.) Her reputation began, she describes, when her basic real lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke known as Kelly at the woman school — took place on her behalf for an hour or so. She la-la-la-loved it then straight away fled the world fearing her very own incapacity to perform these fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a protracted period of time.

She writes:

“of course, term got around that she and I had installed which I would left the girl holding, which had the odd effect of offering me personally folk-heroine condition. Kelly labeled as me a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I happened to be one. It was like some type of film conceit where champion is seen erroneously as a high profile and gets to ride in a limo and stay in a fancy hotel for the reason that it.”

This evidently entirely exercised within her benefit, as she romped about in college starting up with lots of “aggressive kinds just who had gotten down regarding the indisputable fact that I became reluctant to let a woman touch myself.” Post-college, she moved on for the net, in which she advertised her relaxed condition and sometimes came across up with ladies for NSA sex.

Nearby the end she problematically describes that when starting up with a woman she’s not keen on, she simply closes the woman vision and envisions some other person “while [the lesbian] really does the woman thing.” Often it seems like she desires females for eating her out simply because they can be presumably better at it than guys are. She

could

go-down on them but “I’m not online dating all of them, and I don’t believe i’d want to have my personal fetish corrupted by looking after somebody enough to give back.”

I’dnot want to sit down alongside Ariel on a plane, but the woman one-sided sexual experiences are consensual and she’s simply informing a real story of her life, therefore I’m in no way positive what you should model of this (and that I’m curious to understand what you will be making from it, if everything).

Next, on Jezebel (via
The Nice Guys Venture
) we have
We hitched a Lesbian (and I also’m a Guy)
. Mcdougal, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended attain crushes on a single particular woman: the star baseball player, the football forward, the swimmer. Some had been lesbians. Some just weren’t.” The guy questioned:

What-is-it that received me oftentimes to women who happened to be same-sex lured? It certainly wasn’t the stereotypical male dream regarding what these people were carrying out between the sheets, and it also undoubtedly had nothing in connection with a macho notion that i possibly could turn a gay lady right.

In components, the part (which really does tred on some stereotypical floor) reminded me personally with this quotation from

The Girls Nearby

,
that we cited in a write-up about female maleness
:

“…if we had to manufacture an added generalization about lesbian flavor, it will be that a lot of you are incredibly attracted to women, gay or directly, breathtaking or not, which seem as though they’re able to resolve themselves.”

Mcdougal sooner or later marries a lesbian whom delivered as direct, in which he discovered their particular causing sex-life become unsatisfactory. She refused to provide him hit tasks and don’t enjoy entrance but happily accepted his offerings of cunnilingus. Whenever their sexless marriage ended in divorce case and a drug relapse (for him), he or she is seemingly compassionate to his ex-wife’s fight in the place of labeling her as deceitful (as much of the commenters would):

She had result from a conventional family who would have now been profoundly embarrassed to have a homosexual kid. She may also have understood, but performed her best to hide it, perhaps wanting that her thoughts might transform. Or she might have been like more than a few females I’ve identified, and simply discovered the woman real sexual identification after already getting hitched to men.

What’s redeeming relating to this article for me that the writer’s conception of his very own gender is mainly free of the original male posturing one might expect in a piece in this way (he actually relates to themselves as “femmy”). Possibly it seems that means because men thus rarely come up with wanting powerful, athletic, strong women with short-hair; but it is refreshing nonetheless.

I do not mistake Hugo or Ariel for advising their stories, but it is really worth mentioning that both narratives appear to drive on concept that room conduct will be the ultimate/only litmus examination of sex. Hugo and Courtney enjoy one another’s company, but Hugo alludes to Courtney’s disinterest in penetration as a “warning signal” the guy missed, whenever penetration is actually barely an entirely heterosexual work (it seems inclined Courtney dreaded the closeness of penetration with men she did not wish become with, yet , that knows) and slipping in love, in the long run, is about the pussy but it’s additionally regarding your cardiovascular system and it’s really generally about having passionate emotions. Those passionate emotions are the thing that turns a hook-up connection into a relationship, most likely.

Ultimately at

nerve.com

we now have a sweet story straight from the horse’s mouth area —
My Very First Time: Female. 17. San Francisco
. I believe here is the first time the “first-time” series provides showcased a lesbian.

Essentially, in ninth quality, mcdougal confessed to her best friend that she had lesbian thoughts on her behalf, and her companion reciprocated, and additionally they proceeded to carry on a covert lesbian relationship and are nevertheless with each other today and she actually is a grown-up in the military!

This indicates they will have but to just take their particular union outside of the closet, that will be quite puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: ends up this story had been written before DADT ended up being repealed, though it just got released, therefore you’ll find nothing puzzling going on right here. This is just straight-up sweet in almost every way, unequivocally.]

The main focus from the portion (that will be really sexy and sweet) is found on the author’s breakthrough of
exactly what lesbian gender IS
:

We’d never ever been down on each additional, and I had been convinced that is what we’d meant when we stated we wanted to make love. (Now we know that absolutely even more to fucking than licking a girl’s vagina and contacting it every day.)

She concludes:

I’m sure that many men and women differ about what virginity ways to a gay woman, but virginity is totally subjective, plus it actually will depend on whom you’re asking. People might say entrance must be involved, but i do believe it is doing the individual shedding his / her virginity. If I feel just like I lost my personal virginity, next goddammit, You will find!

I have spent almost all of the morning and afternoon looking at wordpress, trying to puzzle out just what point i possibly could make about some of these pieces. I thought loads about the reason we’d never publish “I became a Lesbian Pillow Princess” about this website but are unable to see through the explanation that I would worry 50 of you would vow never to return here in addition to remaning many-thousands people would battle with one another about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure through to the heating death of the market. I envisioned some body publishing “I happened to be a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to us via mail after which We thought the article meeting in which we would arrive at that tale and all sorts of say “NO” at the same time.

In on the lookout for a time to gleam from these stories, I attempted to determine what might imagine or say, and I are unable to, and I wanna finish this post today to improve the procedure of me personally finding out what you believe about these stories. Yup, for the first time since beginning Autostraddle, I got no clue things to say about something. Thus perhaps I should only ask you — what’s your own reaction to these parts?